scone on a mission

Just woke up from the worst nightmare. There was a big thank you note on the inlaws patio table thanking people for their thoughts and prayers got our still born baby.

I've just spent about 10 mins in tears coz I'm freaking out it's not true.

Andrew gave me a big hug anyway, and told me to go to the kitchen for some cold water.

The tears stopped, and I'm lying here waiting for movement.

Ok, baby has moved. I'm going back to the kitchen coz I want to make sure.

I can't imagine what the pain must be like to experience it for real, but when I was in that dream and when I woke up, it seemed damned real for a long time.