scone on a mission

Something is wrong. Desperately wrong. For the last 4 days (well, there abouts, all the days feel like they're running together), I've not been sleeping well. The other night I was up until 4 am, THEN my sleeping my meds kicked in.

It's like they're not working. It used to be 10-20 min max and that's it, lights out for me.

Now I'm up for hours after taking them.

It's changing my behaviour. I'm so freaking ANGRY. 

Tonight I let loose at my 2year old. I screamed at her. I mean screamed. Disturbingly scary even for myself to hear it. Almost like I couldn't stop it, just listen on the screaming coming from me.

All I wanted was for her to lie down on her movie night mat while I bushed my teeth and took my meds. 

I has already had a melt down in the afternoon. I was trying to talk about Christmas presents,  d the kids just would-not-stop talking. It was overwhelming and too much and I had to remove myself and cry alone. I had to tell J no not now as I shut the door, which distressed him and he went to cry.