update

It's been so long since I've updated, and I really have been trying to get here to do so, but I get sidetracked... and tired.

So, I seem to be coping well with my diagnosis of Bipolar II disorder. I remind anyone who reads this, not to discuss my diagnosis with anyone.  My family do not know. If they're reading this, please don't accuse me of anything or rude about it, I've not told you for a reason. Bipolar disorder has a stigma (any mental health condition does, really....) and I don't want the stigma to influence the way you interact with me. Andrew knows, obviously, and his parents (because we share a house with them) and only one other person. I am still the same person, just slightly modified.

Todays dr appt sees me discussing the fact I've been having trouble with sleep. One medication messed with my personal cycle, and silly me thinking that stopping it would cause it to go back to normal. Well, I lasted 4 or 5 days of troubled sleep and the realisation that I sleep better with that medication had me taking it again. Yep. I slept well. Unfortunately, I dislike taking any medication. I dislike the fact that I may need to take this medication to sleep better. However, it is not an addiction. I can stop again, you'd just have to deal with the consequences :)  So, he's changed that medication to another, and hopefully, that should work better. Sometimes I think he has no idea what he's on  about... He's upped my other medication just because. Makes no sense.

I had also come to terms with staying part time with uni, so all I have left is this year and next year. And then tonight I read my uni emails and discover that I've received an email about my program and instead of having 3 1st semester subjects and 3 2nd semester subjects to complete, I have 4 1st semester and 2 2nd semester subjects. Really, I'm done studying. I just want to graduate. But apparently everyone in this household doesn't think I can do it, that I already have too much on my plate and wont be able to cope with the stress. I have emailed the lady back to make a time to discuss it all with her.

Anyway

J is in grade 1 this year... where did the time go?? I miss him when he's at school. E misses him when he's at school. He's growing up too fast. J received an Academic award for his Prep class (2 from each class up to grade 7 were selected). Today we school stationery shopped. He hated it. I would have loved it more if it was all for me. Last year, he lost both bottom front teeth, the 2 at the top became loose last year too. Only yesterday and today did one of them (and it was the 2nd one to become wobbly) become wobbly enough to set the tooth fairy on standby. It's hanging in there though, perhaps tomorrow.

E continues to surprise me. Most days it's her use of language, some days it's her insight. Rarely it's been behaviour, but last week has been hard. She's been having accidents, like forgetting to go to the toilet until she wets herself slightly. An earache (probably from the pool). SCREAMING just because she can and wont tell anyone anything, screaming when she's in trouble, not going to sleep (one night she was up until 10 screaming. She was so overtired but kept screaming and crying. It carried through to the next day, too). But for the most part, she seems so grown up. I swear she was taller and smarter than when I dropped her to daycare...

I will update photos later.