A status catch-me-up

So  much to catch up on, cant remember what though. I NEED to log in every day. So much happens every day, but I just cant be bothered.

I also can't remember what's been happening... so I'll catch-up  like this:

7/2 - Not impressed with Elysium (try absolutely ropable) right now. Have the manager tell me I can bring outside food (for the paleo people and children) and go to confirm it only to be told that there's a NEW manager (in the 7 days since I spoke to the other one) and the event co-ordinator needs to see what the new manager says. 1 week later, the co-ordinator rings me back says the new manager says no to outside food. So.... Anyone with a dietary requirement is screwed. Sorry.

Does anyone have those fabric food wraps / pouches? Are they any good, and where did you get them?

9/2 Home from Chase's 2nd birthday party. Eden sang "happy days, hooray!" half the way home! Hope you had a great day, Chase!

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11/2 - Who doesn't eat their muesli and yoghurt with a prawn chip?

Disgusted in the behaviour of someone on the street. Between 12:10-12:20 today someone stole our baby seat from outside on the back of our car. Just pulled up, jumped out, stole it and drove off. Turns out the car seat was not stolen, phew!

12/2 Yesterday, Jensen sent off 2 Valentines cards! Thursday, he's going on an after school date!

13/2 One lucky Valentines card receiptient

15/2 - Goodbye 20's, hello 30!

Thank you all so very much for your birthday wishes! I had a good day, and am looking forward to my party tomorrow! See you all there!

I thought this was lovely. I'm not sure of the source of this, though...

16/2 Getting a new 'do!

PARTY TIME!!

17/2 - Love listening to Jensen sound out words, and working out what they say!

18/2 - Eden is scribbling and telling me what each scribble is! So far she's 'drawn' 4 aeroplanes and 2 turtles

Jensen asleep during a book; Eden perched on the end of her bed

21/2 - I need to remember this!

Must have been a good (paleo) cupcake, Eden. You ate the wrapper as well!

22/2 - Eden says "egg nummy!" Bok bok nummy!" while we're at the egg farm!

My 5yr old son wants to start composting! What can go into the compost?

Beat my times (3 times!) today at my PT session! Thanks Ben!

Proud Mum moment this afternoon! Stayed to ask Jensen's teacher about something and she tells me she starting him on bigger sight words next week as he read her a whole 'book' without help. The book had the sight word 'a'.

23/2 - Thanks Eden, for being my alarm.

Andrew thinks this is me. He is right!

24/2 - So would it be wrong of me to postpone Eden's birthday party by 1 or 2 weeks? I ordered something from eBay and it won't get here in time for her birthday. But, then it's nearly Easter... What to do?!?

Something else I need to remember!

I would love to hear this one day...

25/2 Hooray ! My kettle still works!

oh my! I won a competition! Not anything for me though.

26/2 - Bed hog. My back hurts from sleeping in a contorted position. Seems my pillow and the mattress are comfortable. I don't even know how or when she got into bed!

My grandma and her great-granddaughter, Eden, are hanging out today!!

Nervous for the start of this lecture ....

Heard some good news for 2 of my cousins today!! (both are ppregnant, one with her 3rd - finally a girl!; the other with a much-longed for baby bump!)

Eden got to stay up a little longer because she asked .. "Harry Potter? Me? Harry Potter?"

Because 10:30 is the time of the evening to turn on my iPod onto its loudest setting and start singing along with Taylor Swift. You're lucky you're cute, Eden!

27/2 - Found the freaking massive spider from the other night... ON NY LEG

Just what every asthmatic family needs! Mould spores and mould through your closet...

me: "Jensen... How much would could a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood?"
Jensen: "Eight!"

Happy Happy 30th birthday to me! Had a great day, and a fantastic party! Photos to come!

School seems to be going well! I'm loving being a school mum, lunches and uniforms and all. Jensen seems to like the same thing day in day out. I'm aware thats going to change, but for now, he's happy. Today, while waiting to pick him up, I watched them come back from another classroom. J was the last kid, all on his own, just walking. I've asked how his day was - he's got a friend he plays with in the playground, but when asked about who he sits with on the classroom floor, he just says 'nobody' with a sad look on his face... I wonder whats going on there.    Despite that, he loves going to school.

Eden has come out with more words. Today, she finally can say J's name properly! It's great to hear and J loves it! Was telling everyone at home. She's also very pesty, stubborn and picky. Whingy. Everything seems to be needed to be done her way. Very fond of Dora the Explorer.

I lost 1.1kg this week! I'm still a long way off my 7kg goal (5.9kg to then!) I was hoping to lose that by my (BIG!) birthday next week... I doubt it's going to happen, but we can try! I've done three little mini workouts at home (one Tuesday, one Wednesday, and one today). Hopefully thats going to help!

I always fear Fridays, for PT scares me. I always wonder why after I finished the session, coz I love it.

The place I'm having my party next week called me and told me I can no longer bring outside food. Which means that I can't cater for the people with different dietary requirements / paleo / children. AT first I was pissed off, then really annoyed, and now, oh well. Nothing I can do. I had worked something out with the manager for outside food, but when we went back to confirm everything found out that he's no longer there and there's another manager. It doesn't matter, really, as they have other food (they have a lunch menu etc). So if anyone wants anything else, then they have to get it from there. Oh well.

Andrew needed to put some rock tape on his leg for a damaged tendon. He needed to remove the hair on his leg. So he's used veet. On both legs (only up to his knees). It's creepy!

What about me?!

what is the point of having friends, or trying the make them? Freaking waste of time. I have online friends, but a bare few in real life. I am trying to make new ones, especially at school - for both mine and his sake. It is only the first week, but so far I suck at it.

I'm having a down day (mostly this afternoon, and I partly blame that time of the month). My body image sucks, my body sucks, my parenting stinks, I swear my children hate me at times, I'm sure I can add Andrew to that little list too. I'm struggling through university - even though this semester hasn't started yet, I'm sure it's going to be hard (and only get harder). I have constant hamstring ache. I feel unsupported in so many ways from Andrew. There are moments where I think 'I'm doing this on my own anyway, maybe I should just make it so'. Where would that get me? Just as lonely as I am now.

A work colleague of mine is on my fb friends list. She's just posted that she's out for the night with the girls. One of which is another colleague from work, one I'm friends with. Then there's 2 more photos - of which it looks like half our staff is there, including the boss. I wasn't invited. Andrew tries to tell me it's coz I don't work very often. That excuse doesn't sit with me, because there isn't that many of us at work.... After seeing the photo that had the boss in it, and realising half of work was out, I just lost it. I think I cried for 5 minutes. Why the hell do I bother making friends when nobody bothers to ask me anywhere anything. (to be fair, the 2nd work colleague mentioned did invite me to her nutrimetics party the other week, I was so stoked to be invited somewhere!)

I do try to make new friends, Andrew's response is "Well, you can be difficult to get along with". What kind of cheer up, please stop crying over nonsense is that kind of fucking comment. He's supposed to be supportive. That is not supportive. That's just you-really-don't-give-a-shit. I took off outside, and just sat out there, watching the wind through the trees, just listening to it all. It's my calm, the sound of nature. It was lovely (albeit the wind was cold), until the air conditioner Andrew had on started it's motor.

Andrew got to go out tonight and have dinner with one of his friends. They comment on how 'tight the waitress' arse is' and that 'you could bounce a coin off it'. I don't give a fucking hoot. fuck you. Don't tell me these things, least of all when I'm all emotional about everything.

I don't get a wind-down after 'work' - whether the 'stay at home mum "work"' or my actual job. I'd like to go out with the girls or even out with someone, anyone, who gives a hoot how I'm doing emotionally and mentally. Find me someone who can do that.

My party has been all booked and confirmed. Lets just see how many people actually come. Then... are they coming for my benefit, or because it's at a bar and there'll be a bar tab? Who is actually there for me?