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Wednesday, 28 July 2010

Well, this is the blog post I promised my twitter followers this morning that if I had time before lab classes that I'd post. Obviously, I didn't have the time.

So much is going on right now. 

I have been completely knackered. Asleep on the couch around 7pm. Wake in the morning at 515 (ish) and can't get back to sleep. Even if I make it through 7pm and stay up "late" - ie the days I work until 10pm,  I'm still awake just after 5.

The nausea of morning sickness comes and goes. Somedays I don't have anything and my brain switches back and I forget that I'm even pregnant. Those days are great! Those days I can cook, and think about food! Most days I have to make myself eat something or make myself make dinner / food for Jensen and Andrew. ATM, I can't even open the fridge door without taking a huge deep breath and holding it so I don't smell what's in there. There's nothing off in there, it's just the smell of food!

ANZAC biscuits, jelly lollies (like snakes and jelly babies), chocolate milk and chocolate Up & Go make me feel better - of course... not all at once. The chocolate milk is a surprise, as before being pregnant milk gave me an upset tummy. Now at home or at work, instead of a cup of tea, I'll have a hot chocolate. oh! And dinner at work is raisin toast... mmmm.

Doctor yesterday gave me an ultrasound request for a dating scan.  Today I am 8 weeks pregnant, and the scan is booked for tomorrow. Very nervous. I'm worried that I wont see a baby and be told that it's a phantom pregnancy. Or I'll see a baby. Or the baby wont have a heartbeat.  Or I'll see TWO babies ... The lists of worries about tomorrow are endless. With Jensen, I didn't have a scan until 10 weeks, and it was only because I lost all my pregnancy symptoms and the dr thought it might be a threatened miscarriage. It's totally different this time round.

All this is going on and Uni started back on Monday.  With baby due in March, and Uni starts in March, I'm all too confused about what to do. I'm seeing a counsellor tomorrow morning to talk about things.

I'll leave it here, update after the scan tomorrow.

Saturday, 17 July 2010

Birthday parties

I never have any success with birthday parties.

Jensen's FIRST birthday party, it was morning - Morning tea time ish... Someone asked me, can you cut the cake so we can go. Nice.

Jensen's SECOND birthday party... The week of his birthday leading up to the weekend birthday party, Jensen had a pimple up his nose that made the left side of his face swell. They called it Cellulitis. He spent Friday night, saturday night and all morning Sunday in hospital  and we had to postpone his birthday party for a month. Hardly any body came to that party. 
(wikipedia says : Cellulitis is a diffuse inflammation of connective tissue with severe inflammation of dermal and subcutaneous layers of the skin.) 

I tried to organise a 30th surprise birthday party for my husband. I handed out the 2nd invitation and  the moll spoilt the surprise. >:( so very angry.

So now, I'm trying to organise a THIRD birthday party for Jensen, except the day I had planned it for is now Election Day. 

So do I keep it for election day because everyone will be out voting anyway, or do I change it to the Sunday so people can make it?

So darn frustrating
I am back!

This'll be a bit of a mixed post - it has been a while!

Uni holidays are almost over. At the start, I was keen to get back into it, and these whole 4 weeks I have hated sending Jensen to daycare. It really seems so silly sending him when I'm four doors away and have nothing to do.

My mother came round last week, on the Monday. Jensen is at daycare on a Monday. I did decide to keep him home , so mum could see him. My mum never visits, lives about an hour and a half away and her only 'day off' is a Monday. She looks after my niece and nephew on Mondays too.

Anyway, she was coming round to see Jensen with my nephew, as my niece had conjuntivitis. She decided to bring her anyway, coz she wasn't bad. What should happen Wednesday morning when Jensen wakes up? Yep. Conjuctivitis.  Wednesday off, Thursday off and Monday off. A WHOLE WEEK. You can't imagine how p!ssed Andrew was. Mum called me Wednesday to ask if Jensen could have this coming Monday off to go to the coast with her and my sister, her husband and kids to do their tax.  Um, No. We'll have to organise something for another day..

Moving on.

I know you've being dying to find out.  Now... It's only early days, but yes. We are pregnant with our 2nd child! Jensen's little brother or sister is due to be joining our family March 9, 2011.      Please, if you know my family, or are my friend on facebook..... SHH!  please.

Tuesday, 6 July 2010

Monday, 5 July 2010


Ok. So. How do I start this?

I bought a hpt.

I'm testing first thing tomorrow morning.

I'm not sure what to think, or even what to hope for.

I have a gorgeous 2yo, who's turning 3 in August. 3 going on 13. He has his own personality. He gives spontaneous cuddles and "i love you's". He has spectacular tantrums, very outgoing and still clings off me when he's tired. If there are 2 blue lines tomorrow, I'm worried I'm going to lose Jensen or his personality will change and he'll become more of a handful.

If there is only 1 blue line, I'll kinda be devestated. I'd love to give Jensen a little brother or sister

However, I am only a first year uni student. A positive result will bring baby into the world right at the beginning of 1st semester next year. Would I, could I, study with a newborn? Is that an option? Lectures, tutorials, study, prac... Work, husband, Jensen and a household to keep.. It's a lot to think about.

If it's negative, my body's crazy. 1 wk late for the monthly 'meeting' and nauseas - but only after midday. But then, I had a massive headache today, which is normally a sign the meeting is due.

Guess we'll find out tomorrow.
Do I blog the result? Tweet it? Do you want to know? Is it too soon?

Saturday, 3 July 2010

How could you do this?

The background: 
Friends of the family have a son - JD*. He's just turned 21. Two years ago, he and his girlfriend M* had a gorgeous daughter together - MR. The girlfriend, not even 18 when she was pregnant, moved from the Brisbane Bayside to Biloela in North Queensland with her parents. Her dad is a pastor for a church.

JD didn't even let his own parents know they were having a baby until M was about 7-8 months pregnant. 

Her dad did not - would not -  let JD know when M had gone into labour. Instead, she messaged JD's sister while she was at school because she couldn't get into contact with JD. Finally, JD found out she was in labour. As you can imagine, he was freaking peeved. JD, his dad and his best friend got into the car and drove the 6 hours north west. Thankfully, they made it, by only about an hour. She kicked her parents out and only wanted JD.

M's parents declared that M and JD were engaged, just to look good with his congregation. So they got engaged.

M stayed living with her parents and would travel down to see JD every now and then. When she'd visit, M and JD would spend all morning in bed and get JD's sister and parents to look after MR. M's sister runs a daycare centre. M would drop MR off to her sister Sunday night and the sister would take her to daycare with her, 630am - 630pm, and return her to M. The next day, it'd all happen again. She actually rarely saw her daughter.

One time, JD's mum actually heard M scream at MR "I never wanted you! " Breaks my heart each time I think of that.

I heard today that today was the first time JD actually had one-on-one time with MR, who turned 2 in May.

I also found out today that JD and M have split. M still lives with her parents, but they have moved back to Brisbane.

HOWEVER. Both JD and M don't want to raise MR. I'm sure they want her, just don't want to be a parent right now (which, quite frankly, was obvious from the beginning). 

So, M's parents and JD's  parents have come to an agreement. 

M's parents will have custody of MR during the week and JD's parents will have her on the weekends. 

It has yet to be signed by a solicitor, but so far, that's the agreement. I hope it happens soon, for Mia's sake.

How can this happen? It's so sad! That poor, sweet little girl is abandoned by her parents to be raised by her grandparents. I know there are grandparents out there who are custodians of their grandchildren, but I had always assumed it was because their own kids had passed away, were in rehab or in prison... Never because the kids didn't want them.

How sad. Thinking of poor MR right now.

Friday, 2 July 2010


Currently, J is in family daycare 3 days a week. Monday 7-4, Wednesday 7-6, Thursday 7-6. He is only there that late because I work evenings (230pm-10pm) every Thursday and every 2nd Wednesday, as well as one weekend 7am-2pm a fortnight,  and Andrew doesn't get home til just before 6.

I am currently a first year uni student. I worked my first semester uni timetable around my work roster (it's the same every fortnight). 

However, second semester I tried for the same sort of timetable. I am still there on a Monday, Wednesday mornings, every 2nd Thursday morning... but now, 2 hours every Friday. 12-2

At least 12-2 should be nap time. 

I have realized that I did not study enough during my first semester (however, I did pass everything!) and have told Andrew that I need to study more - put more effort into it.

The daycare lady is very keen for J to come full time (so, now Tuesdays and Fridays as well). She has her reasons...

Don't get me wrong, J loves it there. She's a fantastic daycarer. She lives in our street -just 4 doors up! Her son is almost my sons age.

However, currently being on uni holidays, and sending J to care, it's hard for me to be doing whatever I'm doing at home and knowing they're walking past, or at the playground or doing something that I should be doing with him. I'd like to see my son on Tuesdays. I'd like to spend sometime with him. I keep saying I didn't have a child to have someone else care for him.

I'm aware that other parents must struggle with the same thing, when they go to work.

My sister and Andrew both say to put him in full time. Andrew says to use Tuesdays as my day to study, my sister suggests to use it for a "me" day.

I am torn. I totally understand where they are coming from. But during study week, a teaching week with no classes so you can purely study, I did everything but. My house was the cleanest I have seen it, and there was food in the fridge coz I made something out of all the random ingredients I had.

I just don't know what to do. I feel like I'm rejecting him. Like I don't want to look after him, so you know what? Why not stick him in daycare?

I'm just so confused and frustrated and a little sad that both suggest it. I can study after hours when ds goes to bed maybe? I just don't know.

What do you do? Any suggestions? (btw - thanks for hangin' in there to read this   :clap:    )

Thursday, 1 July 2010

Confused - much!

Ok, I promised you the other day that I would elaborate on something.

When people ask me, like they did this morning at weight watchers,  when I'm having another baby, I always respond that "it's a two person job"... They agree, but I think they agree to raising the kid, or both wanting the kid is a  2 person job. I'm meaning the actual making of the baby. I'm not going to fall pregnant if everything's not in the right place, if you know what I mean.  The sex might happen, but if it doesn't 'finish' in the right place, it's just not going to happen.

The husband doesn't want any more kids. He didn't even want this one.

Sometimes when he tells me that, I can't tell if he's kidding or if he's being sincere.

He did say he never wanted kids when we first got together. But back then he had, and still to this day has,  a girls name picked out.

Every time I bring the subject up about a 2nd child, he reminds me he doesn't want another. He didn't want this one. We can't afford it. blah blah blah

Then, intermittently, he'll bring home a story from the guys at work, or a friend, or a customer. It'll be about a family with 2 (or more!) kids. He retells it with enthusiasm and I wait patiently for the punch line of why we should never have 2 kids. It never comes.

He just brings home these positive stories. The other night, after he recounted yet another story, I mentioned the two "accidents" we may have had this month. There is a real possibility that there could be a little brother or sister for Jensen. He knows how much I'd like that.  I asked if he'd like a girl or a boy. He says a girl, like he's actually thought about it. (Jensen is forever telling me that he wants a baby sister)

He was at a takeaway shop the other day and the girl who served him had the same name he's picked out if we ever have a girl. He said "I'd still like to call her that if we have a girl".

Um, if you keep telling me we're not having any more, than it's going to be a bit hard to call her that.

So, yes. You did read that little bit right. ATM, there could be a very real possibility of new life in our household. It's a faint possibility, but a possibility none-the-less. And he doesn't look too worried. The only thing he asks is if I could tell him differently next time round. Last time, we were waiting on his parents to pick us up to see the new James Bond film, and I walked over to him and showed him the two  lines from the doctors test. He couldn't concentrate on the movie then.

So this time, I am to buy - and wait for this - braided brake hoses and clutch line for his car. I can either wait for them to arrive, from the UK,  or leave a printed receipt where he can see it. Really.

This morning I tell him that I possibly have AF pain, weak as it is, and ask him if he's relieved. Yes and no, he reckons.  Make up your mind! I think he's secretly a bit excited, but is trying to make it look like he's not. Later he clarified what he meant by saying. Relief for him but not for me, coz he knows how much I want it.

Keep it under your hat ;)