Confused - much!

Ok, I promised you the other day that I would elaborate on something.

When people ask me, like they did this morning at weight watchers,  when I'm having another baby, I always respond that "it's a two person job"... They agree, but I think they agree to raising the kid, or both wanting the kid is a  2 person job. I'm meaning the actual making of the baby. I'm not going to fall pregnant if everything's not in the right place, if you know what I mean.  The sex might happen, but if it doesn't 'finish' in the right place, it's just not going to happen.

The husband doesn't want any more kids. He didn't even want this one.

Sometimes when he tells me that, I can't tell if he's kidding or if he's being sincere.

He did say he never wanted kids when we first got together. But back then he had, and still to this day has,  a girls name picked out.

Every time I bring the subject up about a 2nd child, he reminds me he doesn't want another. He didn't want this one. We can't afford it. blah blah blah

Then, intermittently, he'll bring home a story from the guys at work, or a friend, or a customer. It'll be about a family with 2 (or more!) kids. He retells it with enthusiasm and I wait patiently for the punch line of why we should never have 2 kids. It never comes.

He just brings home these positive stories. The other night, after he recounted yet another story, I mentioned the two "accidents" we may have had this month. There is a real possibility that there could be a little brother or sister for Jensen. He knows how much I'd like that.  I asked if he'd like a girl or a boy. He says a girl, like he's actually thought about it. (Jensen is forever telling me that he wants a baby sister)

He was at a takeaway shop the other day and the girl who served him had the same name he's picked out if we ever have a girl. He said "I'd still like to call her that if we have a girl".

Um, if you keep telling me we're not having any more, than it's going to be a bit hard to call her that.

So, yes. You did read that little bit right. ATM, there could be a very real possibility of new life in our household. It's a faint possibility, but a possibility none-the-less. And he doesn't look too worried. The only thing he asks is if I could tell him differently next time round. Last time, we were waiting on his parents to pick us up to see the new James Bond film, and I walked over to him and showed him the two  lines from the doctors test. He couldn't concentrate on the movie then.

So this time, I am to buy - and wait for this - braided brake hoses and clutch line for his car. I can either wait for them to arrive, from the UK,  or leave a printed receipt where he can see it. Really.

This morning I tell him that I possibly have AF pain, weak as it is, and ask him if he's relieved. Yes and no, he reckons.  Make up your mind! I think he's secretly a bit excited, but is trying to make it look like he's not. Later he clarified what he meant by saying. Relief for him but not for me, coz he knows how much I want it.

Keep it under your hat ;)