Sometimes, mainly when I'm on my own and have all my own thoughts all to myself, I think of my husband. I remember things we've done together, things that have been said, things that we've done for each other (good - like the drawings/doodles he drew for me before we started dating. I think I may still have one somewhere - or annoying - he seems to be quite good at annoying me, just to get a reaction). I remember. I feel good. Those memories make me smile.
Then I think.... Is the romance I have with my husband better as a memory? Most times I come home and get grumped at, or whinged to or pick up after him or have him roll the other way in bed then unceremoniously fart on me. Yep. Love is alive here.
But I don't think / remember those things when I'm alone.
When I remember things when I'm alone, I feel like I fall more in love. That that feeling should last forever. Sadly, when I get home or make a phone call to him or come home to a mess, that it all comes shattering down and I'm hurtled back to Earth.
Sometimes, I'd like to be surprised. To feel that way spontaneously. To have a new memory created. Perhaps even a random thank you or hug or kiss on the cheek - for no reason, just because.
Is love amplified in memory or is it a constant for YOU? Do you make your partner / spouse / loved one / family member feel special out of the blue? So they can create their own happy memory? Do they know how they make you feel (or how you make them feel)? Do they know you are happy and content just as you are right now, or that you need a little extra something? It could be as simple as validation for something that you did - even if it was for yourself, or them, or your kids, or the stranger in the street.
Do other people even think like this? Do other people think back on memories? Even ones that make them cringe?
I have a few cringe memories, and most of those go hand in hand with regret. I try not to dwell too much on those ones, but the cringe memory seems to be the one with the most detail, the detail just tightly holds onto regret like a little girl walking an excited puppy. So close and yet completely separate.
Do you even know how your other half feels? Do you (or they) feel this romance constantly - the intensity never varying, or do you (or they) cling to those few memories that are few and far between?