I have been meaning to get back into blogger, but everything is just so busy. Uni, a busy three-year-old, work and keeping a household... It was all do-able before being pregnant. If I didn't have assignments, or have to study, sure it's ok. But in 2 weeks I have 2 exams, a fortnight later, another exam, and at some point a 1500 word essay and group presentation need to be submitted. I have no idea about the essay, or the presentation. It makes starting them so much harder.


I'm starting to get Andrew to help out a bit more. Coz for crying out loud, how hard is it to stack the freaking dishwasher?


Family know now.  Andrew's parents were told when they came round for Jensen's birthday dinner. I told my sister when we were out shopping. My mum, aunty, James and Sherryn (Andrew's brother and his fiancee) and Andrew's friend found out at dinner. My mum squealed and made half of crowded sizzler stop and look.


I had my first midwife appointment, it's all kind of official now. Monday I enter the 2nd trimester (but not according to the stupid ticker...).  But because I can't feel the baby kicking, or have no morning sickness, I could forget I'm pregnant. It just doesn't seem real enough yet. I've put on 2 kilo's in the last 12 weeks, but look like I'm just plain fat. Like I've put on 5kg or more!  Dressed I look fat, like a fat person trying to wear clothes that are just one size too small. I look disgusting. God only knows what everyone else thinks when they look at me (especially when that occasional craving for a cheeseburger kicks in !). In the mirror, before a shower, thats when I look pregnant. I have a bump that looks bigger than it should be. But I look pregnant, not fat. and OMG, I'm going to need a new bra soon. Work doesn't know yet, but I'll tell them soon.


No cravings as such, but milk with strawberry flavouring is FANTASTIC! Same with tomato and cheese... on a sandwich or saladas. Yum!


Jensen knows now, obviously. He wants to rock and cuddle the baby. I think he's really looking forward to it all. There's a baby at daycare, and he's on the heels of the daycare lady when she looks after the baby.  Wants to know whats going on, and if he can help.  Jensen even has his own baby in his tummy, but his baby is apparently bigger than mine. He woke up one morning and told me that the baby made his back hurt, and his tummy hurt, and his hands hurt... Oh, kid... if only you knew! :)


Nuchal scan looking for Downs Syndrome and other genetic disorders is this coming Tuesday. Jensen will get to see the baby!

At work last night - ahh, my back hurt! All I wanted to do was bludge and let the other staff member take over! Normally, when he's my helper, he does take over. But last night I had a "buddy". Basically, she does the same as me for the WHOLE shift so she knows what she has to do when she has the shift to herself.  Anyway, I let her and the helper do most of the work. I came back after one of last nights frequent trips to the toilet, and he tells me that the "buddy" is Portuguese. This is interesting, as the Family Day Care lady that looks after Jensen is also Portuguese. I said "Oh the day care lady is Portuguese too!" Buddy asks "What's her name?" I had a total mind blank. There was nothing that was going to make me remember what her name is! Apparently this was obvious, so Buddy asks where she lives. I tell her and she comes back with Catarina - which yep, that's my daycare lady!  Turns out she goes over there and visits her! She asks which one is my kid... The blonde one that looks like he needs a haircut!


Last night at work too, I feign a pulled muscle in my tummy. It's not a pulled muscle, obviously, but stretching of the preggy belly!  The stretching pain lasts most of the shift, but around half way through the shift, I realise - this is it. I'm pregnant. Remember all that pain and uncomfortable-ness I had when pregnant for the first time. The aches and stretches etc... It's all going to happen again. Labour - it's going to happen all over again. What the heck have I done?


The first pregnancy, it's all really exciting and you just really don't know what's going to happen next. People can tell you things all they want, but it really is a once-in-a-lifetime experience! 2nd time round, I know what's coming, and the reality hit last night. I am freaked out. Especially about labour. I've got previous with that knowledge, and it scares me. A little over 29wks and another little life will be squeezed out. And another thing that scares me is I've been telling Andrew that I want to do it drug free this time. WTF? That's just going to create more freaking pain.


what have I done!?

eeek!

Well, I've seen the dr and have the radiology request for the 10wk scan... I was bordering on 10wk when I had the appt, so I thought sweet, I'll get to see the baby again before we announce it at Jensen's birthday... Rang to book in, and the appt is not until 13 weeks, coz they book out quick. Wish I'd have known.I have my first midwife appt in 2 weeks time - 12wks - so I hope you can hear baby's heartbeat on a doppler by then. 


It's only a matter of time until my sister finds out, through the pregnancy, birth and baby forum we're a part of. So far, if she knows, she hasn't said anything! I really would like to surprise her.


I mentioned that I have no symptoms, except for tiredness. Well, I still have sore breasts, so that's gotta be some sort of sign, right? I noticed this morning and yesterday morning that my lower back aches when I wake up on my back. And it does get uncomfortable now to sleep on my tummy - my fave sleeping position! So, these are all positive signs. But the most biggest sign I had was yesterday when I was in the bathroom - straightening my hair. There's a BUMP! I lifted my shirt to look, but that just looks like fat person... so I took a picture:

(10wk 3days)

please excuse the no bra and daggy bath towel...

It's so busy here now, and I'm knackered by the time  I have the chance to sit down and belt out a blog post.

Last Thursday (gosh! Seems like longer than a week ago!) we had a ultrasound.  From what the doctor averaged, I was supposed to be 8wk 1 day. During the scan, the date has been moved up 2 days. So, 8wk 3 days. All Andrew was worried about was how many babies there were. My first concern was that it had a heartbeat. Thankfully, it does.  By that time last week, most of the morning sickness is gone!  Just tiredness in the evening (last night, for example, I was in bed by 7pm). I've moved my 10wk dr appt up to this coming Friday (actually, I need to confirm that - phew! yep, it is!) for logistics, coz I'll be down that way anyway, and also so I can get the 'script' as it were for the 10wk scan... you know the one, the one that checks for Downs Syndrome etc. To be perfectly honest, I didn't have the scan with Jensen, so I really don't want it with this baby,  but I had an MMR (measles, mumps, rubella) vaccination the month before falling pregnant, and one of my doctors is not happy about that. She told me to wait three months, and oops, one month later - baby on it's way! It wasn't planned, either, to be like that. It just happened.  We'll see what this other doctor on Friday has to say about the 10wk scan. I'd like to know if baby is still with us (coz the morning sickness is gone, I just don't know any more!) before we announce it to the world.

Jensen's birthday party - I did put out a facebook invitation thing. But MIL can't even make it - FIL can, my friend I haven't seen in ages can't make it. Seems to be the way when I plan things. And we don't get to go out for dinner much. So we've decided to change it to dinner at Sizzler on either the Friday or Saturday night. Then I thought, hmm what about Sizzler Sunday morning breakfast? To be honest, I worry there's some sort of listeria or other germ that's bad for pregnant women hanging around in there. And I know the moment we announce the pregnancy - coz thats where we're doing it, hence why I want to have the scan first - my sister will be watching what I eat... that's if she can make it....

Monday night there was a situation at home. I wont go into it, as I eventually want family to be able to read this and not judge etc. However, the situation got to a point where I scooped up Jensen, grabbed my car keys and ran out and drove off. I was bawling my eyes out. It's hard to drive like that ;) Anyway, Jensen, strapped into his chair in the backseat, was calm the whole time.  "Calm down Mummy. Take a deep breath. Stop crying and breathe deeply. It's ok. Do you feel all better now?" he soothed from back there. It's hard to be distressed when there's an almost 3 year old speaking in such a tone that you don't hear from them. I'd have thought he'd be more strung out than I was, freaking out. I cannot thank him enough for that. Each time I'd start back up again, he'd start with his little mantra "Take a deep breath".  Even just remembering that he was saying all that fills me with an awe that he was so calm and how much I love my little man xx When we did go home (we were only gone about 10 mins), he sighed and said "Ahh, it's good to be home!" 

I best get ready for work now. I didn't sleep well, was at uni 9am - 1pm and I start work again 230pm - 10pm. Same again tomorrow :(