The weekend just gone was a big one. Not in terms of what we did, but what actually happened.
Saturday, Eden had her first swim. Jensen and I also had a swim. Discussed pool safety with Nanna (coz they have the pool). Jensen had a sleepover at Nanna's.
Sunday. We come back over to pick him up and Jensen, Eden and I have another swim, this time with Nanna. It was getting breezy and looking ready to storm again, so I handed Eden to Andrew and hopped out, leaving Jensen with Nanna. Andrew and I went inside, he changed her into warm clothes while I redressed into mine. I sat down with Eden to feed her, Andrew sat down too as he had been sick all weekend. A few minutes later, a desperate cry from Nanna screamed out my name. I couldn't get up fast enough, so by the time I mentioned for Andrew to head out there, Pop had been called and Andrew followed. I put Eden into her cot, now snoozing, and dashed outside. Jensen is stunned and crying.
"He's gone under the water". Nice. What every mother wants to hear. Apparently, he's been riding the pool noodle like a horse and it 'bucked' him off. Nanna had been, according to her, behind him - in arms reach - and heard him make three splashes and then nothing. She turned around to see him under the water with his hands on his head. He was apparently in arms reach, so she plucked him out, dragged him out of the water and called out for me.
I keep hearing "He was only under a couple of seconds". Yes. But he was STILL UNDER. He was frightened for a little while when I got there, but we came inside and hung out snuggled up on the couch for a lil while. He seemed ok then. The next worry was Secondary Drowning. Thankfully, I didn't need to worry about that one.
Everyone seemed, and still seems, so blasé about it. He was only under a few seconds... A few seconds is all it takes.
To make matters WORSE, Nanna tells me that it happened on Saturday too. I can't think how though, she wasn't in the pool, and I certainly didn't have to drag him out.
She tells me that now she feels she can't be trusted to watch him in the pool anymore, and that either myself or Andrew needs to be there as well with her.
We had a swimming lesson today (a make up one, so today is not our normal day) and Jensen is now afraid to put his head under water, or to swim properly. This is his 3rd term swimming, and they teach what happens if you go under water (swim to the side of the pool - which he can tell you - but we think he was trying to swim for Nanna) A few weeks ago, the swim teacher told me he's nearly ready to move up a level. Now I think that he's gone backwards and it'll take ages to get back to where he was.
As I watched him swimming today, I was upset. I'm not sure if I'm upset that he isn't swimming the way he used to, or that he nearly drowned or that it's my fault that I wasn't there to watch him, or that I don't think that I offer him enough support to try and get 'over' his fear. I know that this isn't something he's just going to get 'over' but I was hoping against hope that he would be brave and that it wouldn't affect him. I do feel like it's all my fault. That i'm a bad mother for wanting him to suck it up, as it were, and not be afraid - just swim normally.
On the way home, I did try to bribe him with a toy to swim normally. He just kept telling me that when he's a bigger boy he can do it, and that he's not a bigger boy yet. He talks like this when he doesn't want to do something.
Despite all that, I told him at dinner that I'm proud of him, no matter what happens. To which he told me that he's proud of me no matter what happens ;)