I have finally decided to put an effort in for uni. Not that I hadn't been putting in an effort, more like do something to make me feel like I was actually attending uni without actually attending..
I got a laptop.
One that WORKS.
This house now has 4 laptops (all with varying degrees of usefulness) and a desktop, and the only one that actually does what I want is my new laptop. It's not just any old laptop, it's a MacBook!
I swore that I'd never get a Mac, I just can't use it. Andrew's dad has one, and I just can't use it. I transfer photos from my memory stick to his laptop and poof! Flung off to the Mac never never. I can't ever find them.
And here we are.
Anyway, I don't actually go to lectures, as I know they're on lecture capture, and I can listen to them. Also, lectures are on in the afternoon on a Monday, a few hours after Jensen's swimming lesson. There's no way I'm dragging an overtired 3yo (he'll be 4 in 2 sleeps!! eek!) and a 4mth old finding her voice to a lecture. Just wouldn't work. For a start, the swimming wears J out, so I know he'll crash well at bedtime. Instead, if we go to uni, it'll be in the car and then there goes that idea. Plus, any noise they make will get picked up by the lecture capture mic and everyone will just get baby noise. Which is what happened to my recording of the tutorial class the other day. It's my own recording, on my phone, but all I can hear is Eden, and myself saying shhhh! shhh!
Picture of my new laptop to come, as soon as I sync my iPhone to my MacBook. Scary.
Also, I decided it was time too, as not this weekend, but next weekend is the mid-semester exam. Holy moly. I'm scared. I'm not ready. I don't understand. None of this makes sense. Why did I decide to take only 6 months off instead of 12? I know other people with kids and a job can run their household and look after their kids and go to work AND to uni can do it, but I'm failing to see that I can. I have a (almost) 4 year old - who conveniently goes to daycare 3 days a week - and a 4 month old - who is nearly 5 months old and just recently decided to learn to roll, stay awake longer and day-sleep less and wake every 2 hours and not take a bottle of breastmilk from anyone so I can attend lab (which is 5% of my grade).
I am tired, stressing out about uni (mind you - this is just ONE subject, next semester it'll be two), never able to keep the house clean or the fridge full of food. There's no time to study coz I'm always cleaning or cooking, or trying to spend time with the kids - they are only little once :). THEN being reminded that I need to go back to work, possibly sooner rather than later. HOW? There's no one to look after either kid when the shift that I'll want to go back for starts at 3 or 4, and the baby wont take a bottle.... I digress, I'll leave that for another rant.