I just sent my kids to bed (well, an hour and a half ago now...) And I feel terrible. I feel like crying. I'm crushed. I was horrible to them. I didn't mean to be. For some reason they were just really frustrating me. It wasn't their fault. I could blame PMS and my stupid body for having to go through this every month, but I can't. I wont. I was a bitch. They're just kids. Kids being kids. Jensen was pesty, noisy, over the top, kept interrupting and talking over the top of, playing with Eden's train tracks (she got train tracks because he kept shutting her out of their room to play by himself coz he didn't want her to wreck it) and not letting her have a turn. Eden was just tired, grumpy, hungry, whingey, wriggly and bored.
I'm just a horrible mum. I'm sitting here still feeling the need to cry, surrounded by boxes left unpacked, stuff strewn everywhere from the move 2 weeks ago, with a million things going through my mind. The assignment that's due Monday that I've started, done most of it and just need to tweak words and add a few more bits of information, and then fix the referencing; the exam that's in 2 weeks; the garage sale that's on Saturday; are the carpet cleaners going to do a good job on Monday; I don't have a PT session tomorrow coz he's away, so what exersise am I going to do instead?; I didn't make dinner; what's for dinner tomorrow night?; I want to buy that satchel bag so I can cart my macbook laptop around and not have the stupid tupperware drink bottle LEAK all over it again; what do I wear to this hens night next weekend?; What do I eat/ drink on this hens night seeing as I'm doing an 8 wk paleo challenge?; What do I wear to the wedding the following weekend?; Why can't I get motivated to finish this assignment?; I'm tired.
God, I'm such a whinger.